Lookin' Good

Last week I went to the sort of thing that usually makes my skin crawl - a "ladies night out" event at a big convention center up in Rogers. All these local businesses and Wal Mart vendors were on hand to give away samples and hawk their wares and services. There was a terrible thunderstorm that night and Stephanie and I risked our lives in getting there...but we did make it in one piece, albeit a little late. We rushed around trying to figure out what was going on and how we could get entered into the door prize giveaways. The vendor fair thing was closing up but we did manage to get free bags of Terra Chips, some Celestial Seasonings green tea bags, and two cases each of Yoplait yogurt. Um, yay?

My main reason for going was to see my sister show some pieces from her boutique. She was one of the last to go on, unfortunately and I had sick ones at home to attend to, so Stephanie and I found her and her models backstage. I did manage a few snaps of these gorgeous women and my sister's fantastic clothes, however:(That's my sister, Jessy, in the middle in black. She can really strike a pose, huh?)

Perspective Schmerspective

It just doesn't ever slow down or let up. Nope. Last week D. and Stella both were really sick, probably the flu but they wouldn't know for sure, being uninsured and broke!

In addition to one of my students having an emergency appendectomy, yesterday I was busy with another student having an emergency root canal. It just won't stop.

I feel disconnected from the people and things that make me happy and bring joy to my life. I can't remember the last time I went dancing. Or to my yoga class. I've made a commitment to exercise more and cook more at home and so far that's working out pretty well. This week's menus include chicken, spinach soufflé, saffron basmati rice, baked butternut squash* with marinara sauce, homemade falafel, and roasted poblanos stuffed with queso fresco served over caramelized carrots and onions. So that makes me feel good, at least. What doesn't make me feel good include dealing with generations of deadbeat dads and the psychological trauma that gets stirred up every time I think about all that too much, not being able to afford health care for my daughter, feeling adrift and out of touch with my partner, feeling like a lazy piece of shit, political grandstanding, feeling like I'm alternately wasting my life and killing myself with all work and no play, and on and on and on.

And when my pity party (table of one, please!) gets to be too much, I get an email like this one below from one of my former students. This guy broke my heart. He's from China and was so distraught with having to return to his country without a home. The government in his town razed his apartment building and offered his family a fraction of what a new apartment would cost in return, leaving them effectively homeless. The stories I hear about the Chinese government could turn your stomach - and yet they retain Most Favored Nation status and own the majority of our debt! I think of China as some sort of deadbeat dad, doing whatever it wants with no thought to how it might affect the psychological well-being of its people. I want to quote part of his email to me (please forgive the ESLisms):

Now, I am working as a officer for Health Inspect and Supervision in my city. But more and more social problems occured in our community, these issues had made heavy burden to local people in their nomal life.

High inflation lead to everything which pursued to high price and benifits in all occupation, this reason pushed our government becoming rich but most of local people or household with poor conditions. High price house, Education system corruption and Health care with high cost, these are likely new three mountains hold down Chinese people after new China was found in 1949 by turndowning the old three mountains such as feadulism, stratocracy and imperial.

Like my house removed by local government, they told us that they wanted to set up a new residential building in our location. Most of my neighbors had to move another place to live or rent for waiting the building construction about two years. However, we had to pay more money for them that we could move new one. As you know, there is 6500 Yuan (1000 US Dollar)/squ meter for our house price, I need to pay 350,000--400,000 Yuan for the extra fee to them if we continue to return our new apartment with the dimension of 100 sq. meter. It is equal to the value of salary for working 15-year without any expenditure. In some large cities, the price of real estate surpass 30,000 Yuan (5,000 US Dollar) per square meter. Most people in China appeal to inhibit the high price of housing for residents.

Food price is also high speediness comparing with the income of local residents. For example, the pork meat is about 12 Yuan/Jin (one Jin is equare to 500 gram) as same as 3.5 US Dollar/ Kilogram. Every food included vegetables, egg and soybean products with not normal ratio. In meantime, education system was corrupted filled with smell of money. Like the compulsory education of elemantal school, most teacher compel students to attend their extra class in Saturday or Sunday for special tuition. Some knowledge of text were not lectured in normal class but giving the weekend courses. Because of obtaining extensive knowledge, the students had to attend these weekend class such like my daughter and their classmates. These children are so hard work in very day but also have not time in their weekend.

The third burden for local people is a difficult thing for seeing the doctor. Although the reformation of health system was advocated by government again and again, there are many unfair facts in patient treatment in hospital by health policy-makers. Some people have privilege for treatmen in hospital such as governmental offical, and other people have not basis health care like local resident. The Social Medical Insurance is just superficial project showing outside and most of category in common diseases did not include in SMI.

So, How about the economic development of China is, as saying as it is a model ecomomic of price makeup in nation. As the leader of government says that the development of economic is improving high price of commodity. They called that this is startup the requirements of domestic costumers. Like housing, food and shelter, these are rigid consumption whether or not how high the price is. Consequently, the rich of government in our country is set up the foundation for sarificing many benefits and interests of the local people.

May be a reason of the experience of abroad study, compared other country like Thailand and The United States with my homecountry, I found the difference with others and wanted to try doing something in order to arouse my compatriots. Last week, I was very sad to hear a message for "returned chinese scholars commit suicide" . He was Dr.. Tu Xuxin (涂序新), a graduate of America's Northwestern University and committed suicide when he hired at the lecture of Zhejiang University. Just short time of three months after he returned home from Chicago, Dr. Tu chose this extreme method to end his life. Although existed his personal character with the conflicting for environmental survival, there is not ignore social problem pushing him into the one way to end.

I also reminisce of many things happened in the period of my visit-studying in U of A .These are likely the moive show in my brain. Especially I recalled the anecdote that there were 3 students like freshman helding the activity of donation for some organization when I went to Student's Union in one day afternoon. I expressed very interesting and talking with them, they told me about their vision and goal and they worked for the organization of Blood:Water Mission. I was moved by their passion and loving and did not hesitate to donate 10 Dollar to them. They sent a Red T-shirt to me in the return. From the simple thing, the youth take part in attending social activity to enhance the responsibility and obligation for sociality in our community.

For the influenza H1N1pandemic, there are more and more cases in our area but not death case. Local health authorities called the residents keep good health habit to fight this plague such as washing hand, covering mask and avoiding the crowd. In addition, you can avail to take traditional medicine like herb syrub something. In my opinion, I found the result in the newsletter from our journal which 35 cases were confirm Influenza H1N1 out of 214 suspicious cases. That is to say that there is 16 percent for H1N1 and remnant is common colds. Even now, there are also many schools would be closed if found any suspicion in case of the epidemic..

I was regretted for writing this prolixity to let you understand my situation and the truth reflection of my thoughts. I also know there are long way for making our country to become more democracy and freedom to all people .

In the special day, I express my appreciation to your encouragement and hearten. This is end of this time, I will share my story or ideas next time if you are interesting to listen.

So this email did a number on me. Why am I complaining? I have freedom and health and enough love in my life that I feel overwhelmed sometimes. I think the least I can do is share this man's words. Frankly, I'm shocked that the government allowed his email to be sent to me. Another former student of mine who lives in Urumqi has no internet access whatsoever because of the unrest there. What a mess we've all got ourselves into, huh?











*PS - whomever came to this site searching for "butternut squash anal sex," I am deeply disturbed by you. Although you might be my soul mate.

Time Is Not On My Side

My sister is on my case for not writing in a while. There's good reason for this.

We had a one day turnover between terms. That means 13 students depart on Friday, and 33 new ones arrive on Saturday and Sunday. That's rough. Way too many 4:00am airport runs followed by 11pm airport arrivals. I'm getting too old for this. Speaking of which...and this will likely be the proverbial TMI for many of you (you know who you are - and you can stop right here if you'd like), but I think I'm perimenopausal. Do I have an official diagnosis? Of course not! Who needs those in the days of WebMD and Wikipedia?? Seriously...it's on my list of Things To Do Once I Get Paid. Have I mentioned lately how much I hate my insurance that charges outrageous premiums and co-pays? HEALTHCARE REFORM NOW! And fuck that Republican in disguise Blanche Lincoln. So much for the sisterhood. But anyway, back to my dwindling periods and biological clock that is ticking more like a time bomb than a clock inside my uterus. No one warns you that as you enter into your mid-30s that a fresh kind of panic sets in...the "you only have so many child-bearing years left" panic. Even if you don't necessarily want children right away, the knowledge that you probably won't be able to have them much longer makes you (and by "you," I mean "me") want one so badly you can't see straight. BABIES!!!!! My body craves one like a physical addiction.

Speaking of uteri...one of my new students called me the other night in a lot of pain and freaking out. She kept saying she had pain in her "womb." I assumed she must have some sort of endometriosis-type ailment. After a long wait at the ER and no doctor in sight, we decided to dose her with Ibuprofen and go home for the night. The next day I took her to the women's clinic on campus where it was determined that no, her womb was not involved at all - she had acute appendicitis. So it was back to the hospital for an emergency appendectomy. Never a dull moment, y'all.

The one evening in the past two weeks that I had free, I spent in Eureka Springs at the Auditorium watching one of my favorite bands, The Maybelles. I am totally biased, as each one of the members is a good friend. Their new songs are really great and I look forward to seeing them all year long. I was worried how these photos would turn out, considering that I don't have a zoom lens and the lighting and stage had a minimal look. But I really like how it looks like they might be playing in a void. The focus was just on the three of them, their beautiful music, and incredible voices.



Jan Bell's beautiful smile and Katy Rose taking a picture of me taking a picture of her.

Two Words For the 30 Senators Who Voted Against This Bill:

Fuck you.

This is the bill in question. Jon Stewart explains better than I ever could:

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Rape-Nuts
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Ron Paul Interview

Life Plans

It's been a long time since I've posted a new installment of my 100 Things I Want to Do Before I Die.

And there's no time like the present. So without further ado, here are Numbers 21 - 30:

21.) Set up a scholarship for single parents. A full scholarship - all tuition, fees, books, and living expenses. When I was in college I received a small scholarship from the Single Parent Scholarship Fund. It was definitely helpful, but very small. What a difference a full scholarship would have made in my life...

22.) Do a headstand in yoga.

23.) Be on a Habitat for Humanity team that builds a house, preferably an all-female team.

24.) Make jewelry with gemstones that I've mined myself!

25.) Own and renovate my own home.

26.) Have a month (at least!) in which I go to sleep and wake up according to my own, natural Circadian rhythm. That would be the closest I could ever come to Utopia.

27.) Learn to bake bread...without fail. Different kinds, regularly. There's nothing better than the smell of fresh bread in your kitchen.

28.) Have a picnic with friends on a perfect Spring day. Sunshine, blankets, good food, wine, good company, nature. Okay - that would be Utopian.

29.) Attend a Cherry Blossom Festival, either the national one in Washington, D.C. or (even better) one in Japan.

30.) Learn to dance, starting with the basics and moving on to salsa or possibly even tango!

Genocide!

What did we do before Amazon customer reviews?

We battle ants every spring but because it's been raining for the past 45 days straight (or at least feels like it), the ants have come back! Worse than ever! Last weekend some friends recommended an ant bait called Terro that you can get at Walgreen's. At first I was skeptical because it's so low tech - a bottle of sugary poison and some perforated cardboard strips on to which you dab the liquid. Within minutes the ants SWARM those drops. I was freaking out. It was an ant party out of control (see below), and it was all I could do not to get out my spray and wipe them all away. But I took a deep breath, logged on to Amazon and read many, many accounts similar to mine. I knew I had to patiently wait for the ants to take the boric acid back to their compound in order to get to the whole nest.

I woke up this morning to significantly fewer ants. I'm hoping this works for good. Then I will write my own testimonial. You certainly can't beat the price of Terro.

Our bathroom. I can't even look at this without getting twitchy and panicky.

Thanks For Asking...

My thyroid's fine. My irregular cycles, overwhelming fatigue, and hair loss, however are NOT.

I guess I'm just getting old.


Back to the drawing board.