Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Worst Meals Ever

Salon's featured article today is a collection of essays written by food writers describing their worst meals. Some are hilarious (the guy who ate the duck embryo for spiteful reasons), some are obnoxious (the guy whose "worst meal" is a $700 gourmet tasting menu gone wrong. Worst meal EVER? Really? Fuck you, asshole) but all of them reveal how we value good food.

My worst meal? That's tough. I was raised by a mother who gave no regards to flavor in her cooking and was a strict macrobiotic to boot so I'd have to go with one of her meals that combined burnt onions, miso, cold brussels sprouts and oatmeal (yes....oatmeal).

Do you have any memorably awful meals?


Allison Rantisi said...

Holy ass! That's really a terrible sounding meal. I have to say that my worst meal ever was when I was studying abroad (insert "fuck you, asshole" here). We were in a restaurant near Avignon, and they served me an egg poached in red wine. Let me just tell you that an egg which has been poached in red wine takes on the distinct appearance of a scrotum, or as Adam likes to shorten it: "scrote." I looked at it, almost vomitted, and put the plate cover back on it. It was too disgusting even to taste. I have never forgotten the image.

Alannah said...

Oh my GOD, Allison. No no no no NO!!....I think eggs and red wine should stay far apart.

Kate Massey said...

When I was in a tiny village in Guatemala, we ate at a hut type restaurant which had about four tables and one cook/waitress/do-it-all. I needed something quick and I was tired of beans and eggs and corn tortillas. So I had the spaghetti. In the first bite, there were about three long black hairs. She was staring at us while we ate so I kept chewing over and over and trying to smile as my eyes were watering. I dug through it with my fork only to find hair after hair. How did this woman shed so much. It was totally disgusting, and yet I was unable to hurt her feelings by telling her I couldn't eat it. So, as soon as she turned, I dumped my plate over the edge of the hut, paid my bill and left before I was discovered. Ew!

Alannah said...

Oh jesus! I'm nauseated just thinking about it. You're polite to a fault, Kate!