Monday, November 06, 2006

The Crazies ♥ Me

I just narrowly escaped a prolonged interaction with a crazy person. This didn't surprise me as I am a crazy people-magnet. A crazy people- magnet and a public masturbator-magnet but that's another story. I think they can just tell I'll sit and listen to their ramblings for longer than most people. And the truth is, I really DO sympathize with crazy people. Well, the REAL truth is that I empathize with them...I might be halfway on their plane. So the crazies seek me out. And where I work is located just close enough to the campus, the homeless shelter, stockyards, the Salvation Army, the library and the battery place that buys aluminum to really get an interesting daily parade right outside my window. I should have been more on guard but I'm gullibally (I think I made that up as an adverb) nice (to an extent). *

Thank god I escaped so I can describe it. He wasn’t the diaper-wearing kind of crazy; I think he’s able to pass as semi-normal most of the time, but he was definitely crazy. You know when you encounter a stranger and they ask you a question and because you’re a nice southern girl you try to find the answer? Then the longer you talk to them (trying to help!), slowly the realization dawns on you..."Oh no. This dude is crazy."

I should have known when I saw that he was wearing athletic socks with sandals. On a rainy November day. When I (stupidly) asked about his dog that he said didn’t belong to him but "follows (him) everywhere," he answered by telling me all about "the funny Star Trek movie" in which they say "the hell" a lot in order to seem normal in the future. Then he spoke some German and told me that he'd been awake for over 16 hours and that I have "thin tires" on my car. At that point I had gone into battle mode, drawn the bridges, and shut down all forms of nonverbal communication in order to send him one strong message – GO AWAY. Crazy people never seem to know they’re not being listened to. Eventually he left but somehow I don't believe I've seen the last of him.

*I think of Borat and how he could have only made that film in the south where people are friendly enough to at least talk to those who we don't understand.


Dirk_Star said...

Socks and sandals... RUN FER YER LIFE, GURL!!

Alannah said...

I really should know better.