Tuesday, December 12, 2006

My Little Chip

Last night my family took my grandmother to dinner for her 81st birthday. The restaurant is a popular place for holiday parties so I wasn't surprised when Santa Claus walked through, carrying big "presents" and trying to spread good cheer. He made the mistake of stopping by our table, probably because he saw my little niece and my daughter sitting there. Little did he know that Stella and I had just finished an argument wherein she thought she sounded cool by saying she "doesn't believe" in Santa. And because I'm an obnoxious mom who says things like, "Santa exists if you believe in him," I told her that if she didn't "believe" in Santa then she wouldn't get anything in her stocking. So Ol' Saint Nick, resplendent in red velvet, comes to our table and leans across to shake Stella's hand.

"And what do YOU want for Christmas, young lady?" He asked.

Without missing a beat she answered, "Your watch."

10 comments:

Kate said...

Oh my god, she's just like you!!!!

Alannah said...

Except I really WANTED to believe in Santa. I was so pissed at Mom for revealing the truth. Do you know how she told us? She made us read the story of the "real St. Nicholas" who saved children from horrible deaths. And if my memory is correct, that book had gruesome woodcut illustrations showing children being tortured and killed. Thanks, Mom...I got it!

Alannah said...

Yup..this is what I remember (only illustrated!):

"Another legend tells how a terrible famine struck the island and a malicious butcher lured three little children into his house, only to kill and slaughter them and put their remains in a barrel to cure, planning to sell them off as ham. Saint Nicholas, visiting the region to care for the hungry, not only saw through the butcher's horrific crime but also managed to resurrect the three boys from the barrel."

From Wikipedia

Anonymous said...

Hilarious!

Anonymous said...

That was me, Lori.

Blogger won't fucking let me comment!

Alannah said...

Isn't my mom a piece of work?

I would have traded her in for Santa if I could. That's Santa..the nice man who brought me presents, not Saint Nicholas who saves children from being pickled in barrels.

Alannah said...

Or did you mean my daughter is hilarious? In that case, yes she is.

Anonymous said...

Well your mom is funny too, but your daughter is funnier.

carolyn says said...

the sass! the hilarious sass!

Alannah said...

I take full credit for the sass.