Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Probably Not The Best Way To Instill Gratitude

In keeping with my "Caustic Christmas" theme (see, comments from this post), I should tell you about one of my most memorable Christmas mornings....the one in which our mother returned our gifts.

It was the mid-1980s sometime, I want to say 1986. My sister and I had asked for Esprit clothes because we were dying to fit in with the other kids at school. Somehow our mashed bean sandwiches on homemade bread and choppy, uneven haircuts (also homemade, natch) weren't doing the trick. We knew our family didn't have much money but we were desperate for some token of conformity. So on Christmas morning we run into the living room and see the pastel flannel plaid Esprit shirts folded under the tree (the unwrapped gifts were "from Santa"). I was thrilled to see that the Esprit label was prominently stitched onto the front pocket, so even though the shirt wasn't what I wanted (I never liked plaid), I could at least feel secure in knowing that all the other kids in 5th grade would see that I was like them. But my sister and I failed to show sufficient gratitude for the shirts (it was the plaid) and that pissed our mother off so badly that she took them back...no offer to replace them or return them for shirts we really did like. She told us we were ungrateful and disrespectful and she was taking them away from us as "consequences."

And you wonder how I turned out this way.

9 comments:

[Cherry] Ride said...

Alannah: I've never met you but I feel compelled to somehow reach through my computer and give you a hug.

Alannah said...

Aw thanks...maybe you can just buy me a new Esprit shirt?

Kidding.

Collective Heartburn said...

I have black Esprit shoes I might be able to console you with.

Alannah said...

Would it be horrifically ungrateful of me to say "no thanks?"

Collective Heartburn said...

no ta tall

carolyn says said...

your mom deserves, like, 20 years of pokes in the eye with a stick for christmas just for that!

Alannah said...

You know, I haven't bought her gift yet...

carolyn says said...

consider that idea my present to you

Alannah said...

Ideas make great presents.