Tuesday, January 09, 2007

January 20, 1990

Is a Eureka Springs High School dance going to be the only social aspect of my weekend? HE called this morning. I don't want myself to keep feeling this way, but how can I stop? He has such unknown power over me.

"Yesterday I got so old I felt like I could die. Yesterday away from you froze me deep inside."

Take me, Robert Smith. Keep saying the words that save my life
Reading my old diary entries is quite the exercise in humility. They alternately crack me up and make me sad. I wish I could take the 14 year-old me aside and tell me to focus on myself, not so much on boys, to develop my talents and do whatever it takes to gain confidence. "Take me, Robert Smith....the words that save my life?" That's just too much. Although I do still listen to The Cure, and I am still alive.

1 comment:

Jay said...

It's a strange feeling, looking back in someone's life like that -- perhaps even more when it's your own life. You wrote well, even as a 14-year-old.