Thursday, March 29, 2007

Beauty In The Grotesque

There is a scab the size of my fingertip on the side of my head, above my ear. It sits where a large, bulbous mole used to be. The mole never really bothered me; I couldn’t see it, after all. But I knew it felt really gross and whenever people saw it for the first time I could sense them recoiling a little. It just looked very abnormal growth-ish. But thanks to the joys of insurance and modern medicine, it’s now at a lab being biopsied where it will then hopefully just become one more tiny piece of human waste. I was very surprised at how quick and painless the whole procedure was. The doctor barely had time to insult me (by wondering why anyone would want to travel through Arkansas) before it was all over and I was back at work.

It feels strange to rub my head and not feel that fatty little knob of flesh. Stella and my hairdresser were so happy and relieved to see it go, but I feel odd. I’ve always liked the parts of us that others probably consider ugly (scars, missing fingers, stutters, lazy eyes). Those parts make us memorable and give us that clich├ęd word, character. Anyone else agree? I particularly like red, shiny skin that grows back after a severe burn and large scars. There's always a story behind them.

That reminds me of one of my favorite jokes: What's the last thing a redneck says before he dies? "Hey y' this!"

P.S. The doctor’s office just called.
It was benign. I assumed it was, but it's good to hear for sure.


5 of 9er said...

You could of kept it and put it in a jar or something... then you could look at it and reflect on all the good times your shared together. :)

The [Cherry] Ride said...

Glad it was benign.
I have this small skin growth between my eyes. Depending on the time of the year, it is either noticeable or barely perceptible (yes, it actually shrinks and grows by the seasons). My family wants me to have it removed, but I keep saying it is my third eye and the source of my 'wisdom."

StormySleep said...

First, yay to benign! I know what you mean about those little oddities that create character. I love them in other people -- the scars, the misshapen detail, the unusual nose, uneven eyes, love them. On myself not so much, what's that about!

I had a perfectly round, almost black birthmark on my lower stomach. It was about 3" in diameter, and it was such a part of me I couldn't even imagine myself without it. But it stretched and broke when I was pregnant, and that's not good for that kind of skin, so I had to have it removed when I was 24. It took me years not to be startled by not having it. Probably won't take you that long to adjust.

And, by the way, Stella is gorgeous.