Thursday, September 27, 2007

Ozark Justice

I hope I'm not stepping NWA Crime Report's toes, who might have been too busy to catch all these.

Don't these remind y'all of that SNL skit called Appalachian Emergency Room?

5: 39 a. m. A man on Robinson Hollow Road in Siloam Springs reported his wife hit him because he could not get the car started.

5: 44 a. m. A woman on Southeast 14 th Street reported her sister calling and threatening physical harm to her, her boyfriend’s children and her pets.

8: 53 a. m. A woman at 7306 W. Wedington Drive reported her neighbor “moons” her every time she goes to the sink to do the dishes.

1: 21 p. m. A man at 307 Leflors Ave. reported steaks stolen from his freezer.

2: 33 p. m. A caller in Farmington reported four or five chicks inside portable toilets.

2: 40 p. m. A woman on Stoner Lane reported her husband hit her for changing the radio station.

5: 10 p. m. A woman on Bonnabel Lane, Rogers, reported a child accused her of stealing his mother’s cigarettes.

6: 15 p. m. A woman at 2501 S. W. Eighth St. reported a “for sale” sign broken by a frozen turkey thrown.

6: 46 p. m. A woman at 160 Roundtop Road, Sulphur Springs, reported her boyfriend threatened to shoot her cattle because he believed she shot his dog.

7: 50 p. m. A woman in Fayetteville reported her husband tried to run her over with a tractor.

10: 08 p. m. A man at 1140 N. College Ave. reported a male acquaintance told him and his wife that they don’t know who they’re dealing with.

11: 44 p. m. A man at 306 S. Main St. reported his son cannot get handcuffs off.


The [Cherry] Ride said...

OMG, these are brilliant. My "favorite" is the man trying to run over his wife with the tractor.

How very sad indeed.

Alannah said...

I know. The sad part is that they're 100% true.

Anonymous said...

Maybe she didn't think his tractor was sexy. Please tell me you get that joke.
P.S. You don't know who you're messin' with!

carolyn says said...

why would that lady's neighbor moon, sorry "moon" her every time she does the dishes, what's he got against a clean and hygienic kitchen?

Anonymous said...

Don't look at it as sad per se. Let's call it character.

5 of 9er said...

Wow. It's hard to believe those could be real.