Friday, February 29, 2008

Thoughts On: Jumper

Tonight I took Stella and Miho, our Japanese student, out to dinner and then to see Jumper. I hadn't seen a movie popular with Kids These Days in quite a while. Here's proof that I'm turning into a fogey at a rapid pace - I freaked out at how friggin' LOUD the theater was. Seriously. My teeth hurt afterwards. Turn down that ruckus before I throw my cane at the screen!

So this movie is about a guy who was bullied as a teen but discovers he can teleport. So what does he do with this gift? Does he send himself to sites of natural disasters or emergencies and save people? Um, no. Why would he do that when he can do whatever he wants? What are you - a hippy? No. He robs banks and lives a completely self-indulgent and spoiled lifestyle. AWESOME, RIGHT? Well, not exactly. Sadly, he never experienced the love of a good woman because his mother left him at a young age (sniff, sniff). When his life becomes imperiled he seeks out his childhood sweetheart and endangers HER life just so he can be close to her. SPOILER - After an hour or so of excruciatingly loud and confusing fight scenes, he makes pseudo-amends with his mother and goes to live self indulgently ever after with the girl. It made me sick. There was not a single redeeming quality in any single character. It seemed like the main dude was all, "Oh hey. I remember that one girl. I'm going to jump into her life, nearly get her killed and then SAVE her! All without ever getting to know her! Then we'll just galavant around looking hot together. That's my purpose in life!"

I hate our culture and what it celebrates. I hate that I spent $25 tonight to figure that out.

So yeah....Jumper. Not recommended, y'all.

ETA: Sees I'm not the only one with this take on it.


Alisson said...

Hey, you don't recommend Jumper, but what about Stella? What did she think?

Sly really wants to see the movie, that's why I'm asking. really.

Alannah said...

Oh she liked it, of course. Kids These Days - they have no discerning taste.

Sly will probably like it.

Stephanie said...

Love your movie reviews. You could write those for cash - wonder if the newspaper would pay you for moview reviews?!