Thursday, July 24, 2008

Hi, I'm a Dumbass

A reporter contacted me last week and asked if I would be willing to comment on my blog for an article he was writing for the Fayetteville Free Weekly on local blogs. These past few weeks I've been in such an insane, constricted bubble that I sort of forgot that there is an existence outside of the hamster wheel of my daily routine. So I said I didn't want to talk about it because I didn't feel like broadcasting this here blog. And yes, even as I was writing that response I was aware of how counterintuitive it sounded. When I write here, I imagine I'm just talking out loud to friends, or having conversations with myself on the page (screen, whatever). I certainly don't think about an unknown audience. It's a backward naïveté. I never miss an opportunity to scoff at people who think they can download porn at work or try to pick up teenage girls online. Those idiots....don't they know that they're not near as anonymous as they think? Except I never think of the anonymity factor. I guess I see my blog as a drop in an ocean of neurotic, overworked, tired-but-trying-to-make-time-for-what-is-important-in-this-life voices and that only my friends care to read it. I understand the other selections for the article. The Iconoclast is smart and informative and makes me think critically about local issues. The Fayetteville Flyer is hilarious and manages to walk the fine line between news and humor without being too irreverent...like The Daily Show & Colbert Report. Their graphics are pretty awesome too. But me? This? With the plain ol' Blogger template and content that is basically a thousand different ways of describing busy and tired?

So now I look like a dumbass. D. and Stella think I should be flattered. I think I'm just cranky and need a nap. That lasts two weeks.

It's nearing an end, though, this madness of summer programs. It seems just yesterday that we were having all our welcome parties and now it's already farewell dinners time. Last night's lasted four hours. You don't want to cut those things off, because they're all emotional and sweet and important for the students...but four hours is one long-ass dinner, you know? And then this morning the group of African students departed for their civil rights-themed road trip. It's the same trip I went on last year. I planned and organized the logistical puzzle of this trip again this year and I think I made it even better and stronger, so I really wanted to go and experience it again. I wish I could be with the students as they go to The King Center, or Central High School (I even hooked them up a daughter of the The Little Rock Nine....damn, I really wish I could be there for that), but I'm also glad (relieved is perhaps a better word) I didn't go along. I need to be here, at home. Where there are important Bravo shows to watch and neighborhood cat fights to break up.

7 comments:

Megan Chapman said...

Love your title.. I just read the article about you not giving them a comment and I laughed and thought to myself "Wow-I am going to give Alannah some shit for that." But, you are already giving it to yourself.

So, I have nothing to say but congratulations, and remind you that your blog inspired me to start mine. So thanks again for that.

Stephanie said...

"When I write here, I imagine I'm just talking out loud to friends, or having conversations with myself on the page (screen, whatever)."

You are :)

Blogging is such a strange public thing.

Also I come here to find great music inspiration.

marty said...

can i join you for that 2 week nap?

Grandpa Bob said...

Alannah, you're an energetic "Dumbass" who deserves a two week nap and you should feel flattered. Now that your blog is no longer just for your friends, but thanks to the free weekly it has become a community gathering blog, you can rest assured that it's now fast becomming a world blog. Ha, ha. When is your next posting.

Lacy said...

Basically Miss Alannah, I think it's a big hug for being so warm, so awesome and real, and just so DAMN FAYETTEVILLE all at the same time. Well done. I'll get an autograph later.

Alannah said...

Lacy! Will you marry me? Oh...wait....

smoore said...

I meant to tell you when i saw you at sunshine's party that I helped two of your African students edit together some clips for a civil rights presentation the day before they were supposed to leave on that trip! they were really sweet :-)...