Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Outline of Letter to Bravo TV Executives

I. The Real Housewives of Atlanta
A. Hasn't this whole franchise worn out its welcome? How many more geographic regions of women whose IQ is inversely related to how much money they've married into can there be??? Don't answer that.
1. Announcer, in all ominous seriousness, says, "It's war between the Housewives..."
2. Idiotic, mean-spirited, shameless flaunting of excess knows no racial boundaries.

II. The Rachel Zoe Project
A. Is she for real?
1. Employees, in all seriousness, refer to their place of employment as "Team Zoe"
2. Rachel's voice. Can it possibly be dubbed? The stilted, sarcastic, rude, invented slang, Valley Girl-style of her speech makes me howl and whimper in agony.
B. The name of the show - what, exactly, is the project? The life of Rachel Zoe? The mysterious "brand" she keeps referring to? Why the silent "e?"

III. Tabatha's Salon Takeover
A. Surprise! This show is genius! Who knew that watching a wickedly tough Australian lady tell people to STFU, get back to work, keep their workspaces clean, and act like a grown-up would be so satisfying?
B. Tabatha scares me. She even dresses like a dominatrix witch.

IV. Embarrassed proclamations of obsessive love.

2 comments:

5 of 9er said...

I so need to start watching Tabatha's show... but just never seem to get to it. And no, Rachel Zoe is not real. No way. Not buying it.

afro moon said...

Rachel Zoe seriously makes me want to stab forks in my eyes and ears.

p.s. "I'd die!"