Wednesday, October 22, 2008

This Crazy Land of Wires and Tubes

So the other day I was faced with a dilemma that I can confidently say no one had to face a generation, or even 10 years, ago.

My daughter's father asked to be my friend on Facebook.

Can I get a wha what??

Did it make me feel uncomfortable? To quote Sarah Palin, "You betcha!"

Some might argue that online communication is better than none at all. But to go from zero communication for a very long time, to sending me "I Love The 80s" quizzes and "Li'l Green Stuff" applications is just TOO WEIRD FOR ME, PEOPLE.

I accepted it. But I don't really like it. I have a policy of not accepting friend requests from people I've never met (you'd be surprised how often this happens to me - friends of international students do it all the time), but this brought up a whole new slew of questions and issues. I have no residual anger towards this person, only a glowing ember of disappointment and hurt for my daughter who never knew him and probably will never want to at this point. And it all feels a little too easy...clicking a mouse and entering someone's life again. But I didn't decline because I don't want to be that person who is petty or takes Facebook too seriously. doesn't sit well with me.

Any thoughts out there to add? Any input to ease my burdened spirit?


ste-pha-nie said...

Something about it sounds almost WoodyAllenesque to me. :) In that odd family dynamic sort of way.
Maybe don't worry about it? My brother got a facebook mail from a guy (who was looking for me) that I went to 5th grade with, in Sweden! I guess people just go through old friends and acquaintances trying to find them after many years.

In a way, though I don't know the whole story, I sort of hope Stella and her father get a chance to reconnect.

But the facebook quizzes and stuff? Yeah, that seems kind of unusual. :)

Alannah said...

Oh they've had plenty of chances to reconnect. He lived within an hour's drive of us up until this past year.

Chris Bray said...

I guess you can legitimately use that "we hooked up once" response on how you know that person...

just trying to put some humor in here :)

Step Right Up said...

I saw that he was on there. I don't know. I'm one of those people who are like exes are exes for a reason. I don't have ill will toward them but I really have no need to have them in my life either.

There are some people on my FB "friends" that I'd like to delete. I read some of their statuses or comments to others and they are just out and out nasty and I think to myself is that really a "friend" I want to associate with?

allison said...

as a facebook newbie, i have no problem being a bitch about friend requests. i strongly support your right to ignore anyone you want.

i keep getting people i probably went to high school with, but can't remember at all. i ignore them. it's not mean. i just don't want everyone up in my business.

Lori Mocha said...


Sounds like a very lame attempt to reconnect.

Or more likely, spy on you.

samantha Pirtle said...

he's the father of your child. and you didn't mention that he asked her. it's disappointing to say the least. i would have just sent him an email saying, "why?"