Monday, March 16, 2009

Open Memo To The Person Prowling Around Our Backyard Last Night

What the hell, dude?

Do you have any idea how terrifying it is to be woken up at 3:00am by your partner/roommate shaking you saying, "Get ready to call the police; there's someone on our patio?"

How could you have known that an inhabitant of our house is plagued with insomnia and would be awake, quietly playing guitar in the dark kitchen, in time to see you creep right outside the kitchen door?

Thank you for scaring the shit out of everyone in our house, thereby keeping us all awake all night. What could you have possibly been doing in our privacy-fenced back yard? It couldn't have been any good.

Thank you for tarnishing this town that I love so much and making me feel violated and unsafe. Cheers, jerk.


Anonymous said...

did you call the cops!??

Alannah said...

Anonymous - yes! I hadn't wanted to wake Stella up and scare her, but when they came in the backyard with their high-powered flashlights she woke up and wanted to know what was going on. "Oh nothing, sweetie! Just the police looking for a prowler right outside your bedroom window!"

Megan Chapman said...

Sorry to hear of this.
How scary.
Hate to ask this but is there anyway it could have been one of Stella's friends? Wouldn't make it much better but might take some of the scary away.

afro moon said...


Alannah said...

Megan - I know that's the kind of stuff *we* were doing at that age, but I seriously, seriously doubt it was one of Stella's friends.

Megan Chapman said...

Sorry to have mentioned it...just going back to that teenage brain.
Very creepy all around.
I am sorry this happened to your family.

AMD said...

Oh, nuh uh! To have yr safety zone violated like that is MESSED UP. We caught a peeping tom once. It resulted in the installation of a sensor-light AND me sleeping with weapons. And by weapons, I mean the kitchen knife and a golf club.

Sorry ya'll had to deal with that. I hope it never happens again, Inshallah.

carolyn says said...

holy crap

how scary! i guess insomnia worked in your favor and hopefully now this character knows never to come back.

glad you are all, physically, okay.

Eric the BeehiveHairdresser said...

I had a break in last fall. Lots of new security functions added since then but nothing made me feel safe.

What's made me feel safer is having a 90lb dog in the house - he's super friendly, but barks a mean bark when needed.

He's much better at detecting, alerting and deterring than the floodlight and window bars are.