Thursday, November 18, 2010

Breaking Point

Today was the day I lost it. The stress and tension of having two close friends in two separate hospitals for two very different reasons finally got to me. Typical to stupid human behavior, I took it out on the person closest to me. I yelled at Stella this morning for leaving dirty dishes in the sink YET AGAIN after promising to me that she would "take care" of them. The two most annoying words in a child's vocabulary are "I'm gonna."

"But Mom! I said I was gonna take care of them"

"Yes, but you didn't"

"But I'm gonna!"

"Yes, but you didn't. And now it's 12 hours later and food is hardening to a concrete in the dishes and they're still not done."

"I SAID I WAS GONNA."

"When is GONNA? Some time in the undefinable future??? Just DO THE DISHES NOW already!! If you'd started at the beginning of this conversation, they'd already be done!"

You can see where this is going. And it's not pretty. Arguing with a teenager is ridiculous, fruitless, and even more frustrating. They're like 2 year olds who cuss at you.

But I'm still not justified in yelling at her this morning. I was tired and angry and exhausted, still very worried. I lost my temper. I'm not proud of it.

I need a nap.

3 comments:

ste-pha-nie said...

We all get frustrated and sometimes it's just fine for our teens to see that we also are human. This is nothing an apology can't remedy, and while our teens DO push their limits and press to do things on their timing, the point is they are learning to be responsible, and to do things that they are responsible for doing, even when they don't want to.

You have been holding it together... and this was a normal and perfectly harmless venting of your stress. Stella knows, I am sure, and as soon as you tell her, and hug her, it will be water under the bridge. <3
>>Funny aside - my word verification is "unnite"

I Know Right? said...

You are not Superwoman! Although at times when I read about everything you have on your plate I am not so sure. It happens to all of us. I deal with way less in my life than the things you have going on and I do this.

Keep your head up, shoulders back and face the wind Alannah! You hang in there and be strong for your friends. And if you have the occasional outburst, so be it. And I am sure from all the entries I read, Stella knows you love her and is aware of your stress. All will be well.

jessica said...

...it is so obviously not about the dishes. You and Stella are amazing, remember how hard it was to be 15? (16, 24 wait how old is Stella these days?) It can also be hard to be 29 (that is how old we are right?).