Monday, November 15, 2010

Gather 'Round

Oh, my heart is heavy. I have many close friends I consider my family, but I have one particular adopted family who are REALLY my family, meaning I feel close with all the branches, the kids, grandkids, cousins, etc. One of the matriarchs of this family is ailing, as I mentioned in previous posts. I don't necessarily understand exactly what is happening in her body, but I think most others in the family don't really either. Her birthday was Saturday. We gathered at her house, cooking, talking, eating, laughing, singing. D. showed up later and played his guitar and sang for us. Patt loved it, staying up much later than usual.

Sunday morning, however, she went to the hospital. Her kidneys weren't working. We didn't know if it was failure - if This Was It, or what. Everyone started showing up at the hospital. She had surgery to put tubes in her kidneys. The tubes are working. This is good. At one point there were 17 of us gathered around her bed, singing songs as she slipped into morphine sleep. She smiled and sang along. There were tears and laughter - all that raw, real human stuff. Being together just felt right. This is one of those times where we crave a collective experience.

Today is more wait and see. I'm trying to work. But I'm distracted. If I were at the hospital I'd feel frustrated, just sitting and waiting. I don't think I'd feel comfortable anywhere today.

We had seven people staying at our house last night. I feel bad that we don't have beds proper for everyone, just a sea of pallets and couches and airbeds, etc. But it feels good to have everyone around.


Stacy said...

Sending many vibes of love and strength your way.

I Know Right? said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
I Know Right? said...

sending best wishes your way.... be strong.

Carolyn said...

oh, crap, the wait and see is the worst. Well maybe not the worst, but right up there with the worst. Anyhow, been thinking of you, and hope you are well.