Friday, February 25, 2011

You Don't Have To Tell Me

Look. I KNOW I've been away from here for a long time. I know that I should be writing more. I have a lot to say and unload, but I'm too picky. I am painstaking about these words that will linger around on the internet for as long as I allow them. And I've been busy as hell.

I've been gently chided by friends and family to write more and THEY'RE RIGHT. I can't even bear to look at my stats (previous source of far too much misguided validation) because I know I've lost momentum.

So, the past month in a nutshell:

We lost nearly a week to a thin layer of ice covered by snow. I cooked a ton of fattening foods and nearly broke up with D.

The resulting spiral of depression, anger, resentment, self-hatred, and shame led me to start anew. Nothing like starting with yourself, right? I decided to go vegan for a week, including no sugar, alcohol or caffeine.

Then we got over 25" of snow. Hosni Mubarok fell. I kept up my cleanse. Small improvements, all internal.

Back to work in a major way. Continued efforts.

In the next few days/weeks I hope to take all those fractured thoughts about politics, international current events, women's issues, my personal struggles, parenting, relationship work, and MOVIES and FOOD that have been knocking around in my skull and shape them into decent essays (blog posts) but, based on past behavior, don't hold your breath.

Here are some photos of the 2nd big snow:

The view out our front door
My car, the snow bank.
Do you see that?
Bigger dog Lucy had to forge a path first, then Django had space to run
Dog cul de sac
Dog run next to the house and the tops of my dead tomato plants
Little dog running through the snow, bigger than her, never failed to crack us up

Last night was the open house at the performing arts high school where D. teaches. His guitar classes opened the show and they rocked it! It makes me happy to see the pride he takes in his students' accomplishments.


Anonymous said...

i miss your opinions, dammit.

and i'm sorry you've been going through the personal struggles, the whole world feels so wrong when that kind of stuff is going on. it's just so destabilizing and silencing.

sending smiles and a giant hug your way....

Anonymous said...

So glad you posted - I have been thinking about you! I love those dogs - adorable in the snow cul de sac. xxx