Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Workplace? More Like Jerkplace

Work has been...a lot of work lately.

The whole reason I made this blog private is because I had applied for another job and didn't want any potential bosses to read all my weird stories and confessions without first realizing how awesome and job-obsessed I can get.

My current job is getting very annoying. Lots of office politics bullshit. WHICH I HATE MORE THAN ANYTHING. It was office politics, in a way, that made my single worst career event (2003. If I haven't told this story yet it's because it's too awful and insane and long. But most of you have known me a while so you know it. One day I'll write about it...and it will be a screenplay or novel) possible. So yeah, I fucking hate office politics.

I was told that I'm not "approachable." WTF. And, mind you, this is coming from coworkers, not students. My students adore me. I bust my ass for them and it shows. People know when you go above and beyond for them. I hope.

So yeath. Not approachable. What this really means is that my boss doesn't think I'm friendly enough (TOWARDS HER). My sister, who put up with the worst kind of office politics - CORPORATE OFFICE POLITICS - for like 8 years so she really knows what she's talking about. Jessy told me to be super sickly sweet almost-fake friendly towards her, and everyone else if necessary. It's been really hard. Because I hate being fake. I'm the person who, if asked "How's it going?" nearly always answers, "It's going" in a flat tone because it seems most truthful. Gee...why would she ever think I'm unapproachable???

But I've been following my sister's advice and, of course, it's working like a charm. Playing the goddamn game. That's what you have to do to get anywhere in this world. Yuck.

Tomorrow the bigger office of Graduate and International Education is having a taco party and we were all told that our presence was mandatory. You heard me. I'm not allowed to work from 11:30 to 1 tomorrow because I have to eat tacos and play the goddamn game instead. Okay. Fine. If I'm going to play the goddamn game then I'm going to WIN THE GODDAMN GAME. Might as well, right? I'm going to win the taco party.

I made homemade cheese dip (bechamel sauce, grated Chihuaha AND cheddar cheeses, chili powder, pinch of cumin, garlic powder, can of Rotel), homemade key lime pie (hand-squeezed key limes thankyouverymuch), and will make fresh guacamole tomorrow at 10:30am because you can't win if you bring brown guacamole. Hell no.

If I don't report back with a gold medal of food, charm, and schmoozing then you'll know that I'm a loser.


Carrie said...

No way--you're not unapproachable. I think that's code for "you need to suck up to me more because I said so and because I'm insecure...because students seem to like you more than they like me." Sound about right. I think I heard the "unapproachable" word from a boss I hated more than any other person on earth--either before or after. Seriously, he is the only person in the world who I would step over and continue walking if he were lying on the sidewalk half-dead. Wow. That was cathartic. Alannah you are not unapproachable. Too bad the advice your sis gave you is true.

AMD said...

This post has a strong, hilarious start. Love you!